Menopause and Anger Toward Husbands (Advice for Husbands)
Is your wife angry all the time? Is she in her late 30s, 40s or 50s? Keep reading…
How would you feel if you woke up once, twice, or even multiple times a night in a puddle of your own sweat? Were hit by a massive uncontrollable heat flashing through your whole body at the most inopportune times?
Couldn’t sleep at night and even suffered from panic attacks? Kept forgetting things that you should usually remember? Had no oomph or sex drive? Felt tired all the time and couldn’t keep up with your usual activities?
We guess that you would be angry too!
The symptoms of perimenopause and menopause can come on slowly or seem like a sucker punch. Some women get through the transition with little or no physical or emotional suffering, while others are knocked out. It isn’t just the woman who suffers – the effects can seep out into all of her relationships.
She may be embarrassed or ashamed to talk about it. She may not even know it’s happening until someone else puts the puzzle pieces together. Either way, it can be a hard transition for everyone involved. One of the most challenging issues that come up between women and their partners is menopausal rage.
We aren’t just talking about grumpiness or irritability. We’re talking about rage.
Menopause and Anger: What’s Going on Here?
Not only is a menopausal woman experiencing a drop in her sex hormones, but the rest of her hormones are suffering the effects. Think of the endocrine system as a team— if one team member goes down, the others will be affected too.
For example, estrogen levels are a key player in the production of serotonin. Part of what happens in menopause is that the ovaries stop producing estrogen. It doesn’t happen all at once. It’s like a roller coaster of ups and downs and curves until the ovaries finally give up.
If a woman’s body is making less estrogen or no estrogen at all, then her serotonin levels will drop. Because serotonin helps control mood and impulse control she will likely become depressed, angry, or even full of rage.
Whether she’s talking to you about it or not, it’s likely that if your partner is in her 40s or 50s – even her mid-late 30s – she’s probably suffering some or all of the menopause or perimenopause symptoms.
- Menopausal mood swings
- Weight gain
- Painful sex
- Night sweats
- Loss of libido
- Hot flashes
- Lower back pain in Menopause
- Brain fog
These symptoms alone are hard enough to deal with. But add them all together, and you can imagine how exhausted she must be.
So, What Can You Do About It?
When that rage is directed toward you, it can be challenging to know what to do. So first off, we’d like to celebrate your willingness to find out what’s going on.
Education is the first step.
The next thing we suggest is to try not to take it personally. It isn’t about you. It’s about your partner. If she could control it, she probably would.
Try not to give her advice. That will send you on an express train to a rage episode. If you need to feel useful, ask her for specific things that you can do to help, and then proceed to follow through.
Research menopause and hormone replacement therapy (hrt). Install ceiling fans in every room of the house. Be willing to leave events early if she sweats through her clothes. Take on some of the domestic responsibilities that you don’t usually do so she can get a break.
You can also partner with her in some lifestyle changes that could support both of you.
Menopause and Fatigue: Here Are Four Tips to Beat Fatigue
Tip 1. Even though she may not feel like it, studies have shown that regular exercise can help boost energy and mood levels. Encouraging her to be active, and if it’s appropriate, join her in enjoyable exercise that gets her heart rate up. This can help both of you!
Tip 2. A consistent sleep routine is crucial during this time. Whatever you can do to support her in a regular bedtime routine will make both of your lives easier. A regular sleep routine would consist of:
- Waking up and going to bed at the same time every day.
- Avoiding caffeine and alcohol close to bedtime.
- Taking a warm shower or a bath.
- Avoiding the use of smartphones, TV, and computers close to bedtime.
- Turn down the AC at night.
- Stress doesn’t help with hormone balance or sleep. It’s an energy sapper and an anger elevator. Acupuncture, massage, and meditation can be a nice way to decrease stress. If sitting still is impossible, yoga or tai chi are excellent ways to practice moving meditation.
Tip 3. Heavy meals and processed foods can contribute to heartburn, which can interrupt your sleep. Enjoying smaller portions of healthy foods is a good choice for everyone.
Tip 4. Be as patient and as present as you can, but take care of yourself too. If you need to walk away, do it.
Reassure her that you will be back and return when you said you would. If you need some support, find it. Whether it’s from friends, therapists, or groups.
Menopause: How Long Is This Going to Last?
Perimenopause is the transition to menopause. The full menopause transition can take 4 to 12 years. Menopause officially begins when a woman hasn’t had a period for 12 months. This is a marathon, so take good care of her and take it day by day.
It’s a process for everyone.
Even though you won’t be able to fully get where she’s coming from, trying to understand is a good place to start. Your willingness shows your wife that you not only want to help but will reassure her that you are going to stick around and see things through. Just that fact may go further in relieving her of her anxiety, anger, and fatigue than anything!
Hormone Imbalance and Menopause
She doesn’t have to live with the symptoms of menopause. Instead, thanks to BHRT for menopause, she can enjoy a better quality of life and improved overall health.
Many women aren’t sure how to identify a hormone imbalance – the signs can be subtle, especially during menopause. But that doesn’t mean her hormone levels don’t cause her symptoms – and it certainly doesn’t mean she needs to continue suffering.